Any Way You Slice the Mochi!
by Chi-Chi's Poptart
Summary: Feliciana is married to Ludwig. Lovina is happy. Or she would be if that stupid tomato jerk would leave her alone to pout. T for Lovina's fluent profanity. (But it's not that bad.)


**Er, poo. This just popped into my head. Let's see if I can execute this.**

 **Don't own anything, because Hidekaz Himaryu does.**

Lovina pouted, slumping in her silky, green dress. Looking over to the sea, she tossed her bouquet towards it, over the cliff. She was happy for her sister, she guessed. It's just that she didn't trust that German bastard. Surely he couldn't know his newlywed wife as well as her sister did. She also hated thinking that her sister had a long, dumb, hard-to-say surname like Beildschmidt.

She had to restrain a laugh. Feliciana looked like a cheerful butterfly, flittering around the garden of the reception in her long, white gown and thanking guests for showing up; Ludwig looked stiff and a little nervous, straightening out his tuxedo, and trying to do the same as his bride.

"Lovi~!" cried a cheerful Spanish voice. Great, here came Antonio. "Hiya, Lovi! You look so sad," he stated, noticing her scowl. "Wanna keep Feli all to yourself?" He gasped in mock shock. "Shame on you! Someone's very selfish…" He pinched her cheek playfully. Lovina had to admit, he looked rather nice in a tux, not that every other guy didn't! Of course, as soon as the wedding was over, he'd loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top of his dress shirt.

She tried to kick him in the gut with her heels. "Don't touch me, _bastardo_. I don't care about that ditz."

Antonio ignored her. "You look so cute in that dress! I need to take a picture of you, since you hardly ever wear them!" He reached for his pockets. "Wait, I think Gilbert stole my phone. Anyway, you look nice in green, but if you were wearing red, you'd be a little _tomate_!"

Her face started feeling slightly hot. "Shut up! I don't want to have to murder someone at my sister's wedding reception."

"You're right," Antonio nodded. "I'll have to see you in a white dress first!"

Raising her eyebrow, Lovina asked, "A white dress? What do you…?" The realization dawned on her like a day on Jupiter, which is to say, quickly. "That's it, _stronzo_! You are dead!"

And that is how Antonio gleefully ended up with an angry Italian maiden chasing after him. Meanwhile, his companions were being idiots, as per usual.

" _Bruder_ , what are you doing in a tree?!" Ludwig called up to his albino sibling.

"Being awesome!" Gilbert replied. "Also, this little yellow birdy fell on the ground, so I had to return it to its nest, didn't I? It was too awesome not to help." He gestured to the nest which was on the same limb of the tree he was hanging on. There was, indeed, a little chick chirping contently.

" _Ja,_ but you just ruined a tux you rented!" Ludwig exclaimed. "You have to pay for it now!"

"That's not such a bad price to pay in order to help a little _vogel_ ," Gilbert replied.

Feliciana came over to check out all the noise. "Oh, Luddy, it's okay! It makes this wedding all the more memorable," she giggled.

Ludwig blushed. " _Ja_ , fine, whatever, as long as he pays for it.

"Hey, hot stuff! My brother's lucky to have someone as good as you! Make sure you embarrass him sometimes," Gilbert called down.

" _Si!_ " She glanced over to Ludwig. He was bright red from anger and embarrassment. "Oh, don't be so annoyed! He's just teasing." She looked across the garden. "Oh, look! It's Sakura and Herakles!"

Said couple approached them silently, Sakura because she refrained from speaking and Herakles because he was half asleep.

Sakura bowed, politely. "Congratulations on your marriage."

"Well, thank you for coming!" Feliciana kissed her on either cheek, the way Italians do, which made Sakura very uncomfortable.

"Er-um, well, you came to mine, so I had to return the favor," Sakura said. "Not that Herakles and I didn't want to come!" she added quickly.

A happy form collided with Feliciana. "Oh, Feli! You've gotten so big!" Elizabeta gushed. "I remember when you were a tiny little thing!"

Roderich pried Elizabeta off her. "We don't want to kill the bride, now do we? Also, is there a piano around here? The music is atrocious."

"Ve~! Yes! I was hoping you'd ask… By the way, have you seen Alice anywhere? She was here earlier…"

"Yes, she's right over there," Sakura pointed. "Amelia and her sister are with her … I can't remember her name."

This mystery sister was Madeline. Currently, they were listening to Alice rant depressedly. "Ugh, so lucky. Of course a total ditz like Feliciana would find someone. I mean, she's so cute and all. Guys don't' like girls with intelligence."

"Alice, how much wine have you been drinking?" Madeline asked worriedly. Amelia just watched in amusement, trying desperately hard not to laugh.

"Not that much!" she snapped, lifting her glass to her lips.

"I'll go ask how strong it is." Amelia waved over to a certain blond-haired man. "Yo, Francis! Can you get drunk off this stuff?" ("I'm not durnk… er, drunk, Amelia!")

"Ah, _Areis_!" Francis declared, sniffing it. "Feliciana and Lovina know good wine. But you shouldn't be able to get drunk off it unless you drink quite a bit or…" he glanced over to a moping Alice, "easily- how do you Americans say?- influenced." He strutted past Amelia. "'Ello, _Aleece_. You look like you need a shoulder to cry on."

"Oh, lord, it's the frog," Alice groaned.

Francis grabbed her shoulder. "'Ow tragic it is that someone so beautiful is this close to tears. I believe that I can solve that." He leaned close to her face.

"Hell no!" Alice protested. She pushed him away and leaned over the table. "Listen, Frog. I want a guy that's nice and smart and not a total pervert like you! You are none of those things and—Why are you all staring at me?"

Francis had a shocked look in his eyes and dropped the wine to the ground, where it shattered, Madeline looked fearful, and Amelia was caught in between terror and amusement.

Madeline spoke first. "Uh, Alice? Your hair is on fire."

This was true. When she had leaned over the table, one of her long pigtails had accidentally fallen into a candle.

"Bloody Hell!" she screamed, trying frantically to beat out the flames.

"Don't worry!" Amelia shouted. "The heroine will save you!" she grabbed the glass that Ivan, who was standing nearby, was holding, and splashed Alice with it. The flames only came up stronger. "Huh?! But, wine shouldn't do that." She sniffed the glass and nearly blacked out. "WHY THE HELL WERE YOU DRINKING VODKA?!"

Ivan rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I can't taste alcohol unless it is this concentrated."

Madeline hurried to grab some water, but unfortunately ran under the tree that Gilbert was in right as he jumped out of it. "I think I crushed something…" Gilbert noted. Madeline groaned in response.

Amelia jumped up. "Don't worry, Maddie! I'll save you and Alice!" She tried to dash off to get some water, but got her foot caught on one of the table's legs, causing her to fall to the ground, and slam her head on a chair.

Yao Wang, who was the caterer, noticed the commotion. "Aiyaah! Here, catch-aru!" He threw a bottle of water to Francis, who promptly dumped it on Alice, thus putting out the fire.

Antonio ran over to survey the damage, along with Ludwig and Feliciana. "Wow, that is really unfortuna—" What was really unfortunate, was that Lovina had finally caught up with him.

"Die, tomato bastard!" She tackled him, and both slammed into a table. A table with a cake. A wedding cake. _The_ wedding cake. And the cake, which was quite large, lost its balance, and fell on top of an unlucky Ludwig and Feliciana.

Ludwig emerged first, and Feliciana quickly followed suit. Both were covered in white, frosty goodness and looking slightly worse for wear.

When Lovina saw her sister covered in cake, she immediately got up and rushed over, chattering in Italian. Most of the others knew a little bit of Italian, but she was speaking too fast for them to understand. They could only catch a few words such as _tomato_ , _potato_ ,and, most of all, _bastard_. Finally, she switched to English so that the rest of them could understand. "Why are you getting together with this German bastard?! Weren't you happy before?!" she screeched. "I'm your sister! Don't I make you happy!? If you go with him, I'll be all alone! Why do you think I never dated another guy?! So that you wouldn't be alone!" She buried her face in Feliciana's hair, sobbing.

Everyone was shocked at Lovina's outburst, and Feliciana was at a loss for what to do. She tried to hug her sister, but she just pushed her arms away.

Antonio put his hand on her shoulder and swung her around. "That's really why you always stayed away from me? For Feliciana?"

Sniffing, Lovina rubbed her eyes as best she could. "Yes…" she muttered. "Bastard…" she added quickly, though her voice held no malice.

He surprised her with a hug. "Wow, Feliciana. I thought your sister was really selfish!"

Feliciana giggled. "Don't worry, Lovina. Ludwig might be my husband, but that doesn't change the fact that you're my big sister!"

Antonio stopped hugging her, and looked at her, gripping her shoulders. "You have icing on your face," he noted. "It's probably from when you put your face on Feliciana's hair."

Feliciana looked over her dress in dismay, and pulled Ludwig up. "Well, I guess we can't really cut the cake."

"Wait!" Sakura called out. She hurried forward, Herakles slowly trudging behind her. "It's not really the kind you're thinking of, but I have a 'cake'." She clutched an enormous box in her hands and gave it to them. Feliciana opened it up and looked inside.

"Ve~! This works fine!" She pulled the cake out of the box, revealing it to be… An enormous mochi. "It's a rice 'cake'!"

Ludwig nodded to Sakura. "Danke."

Sakura waved her hand. "Ie."

And so, the reception was not only the most eventful one in their memories, it was also the day that Lovina finally got the time to search for her own happiness.

 **(Author doesn't know jack about wine, so don't be wine snobs!)**

 **Sucky ending is Sucky. Oh, well. I'm kinda depressed this week, so please review.**

 **Guys, I cannot tell you how excited I am for Inside Out! Wah, comes out so soon! Spain is Joy; Ukraine is Sadness; Romano is Disgust; Germany is Anger; Italy is Fear. Russia is the clown (sorry, Russia). It looks even better than World Twinkle and Durarara 2x that are coming out this summer!**


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